Dysfunctional Wednesday!

Landon(grandson): Julius let's wrestle. *he proceeds to clear my living room of furniture.


Julius: I don't mean that kind of wrestling, Landon....with the action figures.


Landon: That's not fun!


Me: Nobody is wrestling....somebody will get hurt.


Landon: Don't worry Nonna....I'm stronger than him, I won't get hurt!


Julius(rolls his eyes): I'm hungry.


Landon: You just ate a minute ago.


Julius: Don't care. I'm still hungry.

Juliusism Sunday!

Julius came into my bedroom with his bedtime snack. 

Julius: You know what they say, "The more, the better." 
Me: You mean..."It's more, the merrier." 
Julius: "The more, the merrier"...that doesn't even make any sense. What are you trying to say?"
Me: "It's more, the merrier." It means the same thing you're saying." 
Julius(shaking his head): It doesn't even make sense.

At least he's not saying "The more, the more gooder" like he used too! I think we're heading in the right direction.

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

The History of the

Telephone!

 

Isaiah: Mom, I was watching this movie the other day and they had like one of those ancient phones.
Me: Really?
Isaiah: Yeah, you know...it had a cord and was connected to the wall. I think it comes from the 90's! 
 
Good grief! I might as well curl up and die now!

Juliusism Sunday

I love sitting around a campfire talking with the kids.
 
Isaiah: Dad, I want to go to summer camp.
Julius: I want to go to Asgard.
Me: Why?
Julius: So I can see that dude.
Me: Thor?
Julius: No, the other dude.
Me: Loki?
Julius: Yeah...I like him.

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

Me: Isaiah I have a quest for you. While I'm at writer's group I want you to go on the computer and find out what the capital of Egypt is and tell me what continent it is in.
 
Isaiah: What?! Say that again.
 
Me: I want you to find out the capital of Egypt and the continent its in.
 
Isaiah: Wait, wait, wait....go back. The capital of Egypt. *His brows creased* It's E! What was the other thing you wanted to know?
 
Me: Oy Vey! Am I really failing this bad at home schooling, Isaiah? It's not like you don't know this stuff. You learned what the capital of North Carolina was last year in school.
 
Isaiah: It's N! 

I give up!

Juliusism Sunday!

 An Arm and a Leg!

Julius cuddling up to me while I was writing tonight. He kept grabbing at my arm to hold him. I said, "Boy, you really like that arm, don't you?" He said, "I like your arm...and your head. I like all your body parts." I said, "I see. Thank you." No bonding issues here.

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

I have a pre-teen boy and over the last couple of years he's had an aversion to soap and water. This is a typical conversation between us.
 
Me: When is the last time you took a shower?
 
Pre-T: Ummmm......on......Sunday.....of this month!
 
Me(smh): Oh, good.....we still have one more Sunday in the month, so were good!
 
Conversation between us over New Year's holiday.
 
Me: If you are not going to take an active interest in your hygiene....you are not letting your afro grow out. 
 
Pre-T: I am taking care of it.
 
Me: Ummmm...ya, no you are not. I can literally envision those Mucinex guys setting up camp on your scalp, sitting on their couch playing Call of Cootie on their PS3! 
 



Conversation this morning....after Pre-Teen has taken a shower for three days in a row.
 
Me: Who are you and what have you done with my son?
 
Pre-T: What?
Me: Were you abducted by aliens?
 
Pre-T(smiling): No!
 
Me: What's with you showering three days in a row?
 
Pre-T: I don't want my hair cut.
 
I do believe I'm making progress!!! 

Juliusism Sunday!

Julius: I had so much fun going to the grocery store with Daddy today.
Me(laughs): You did?
Julius: Yeah! We got pears and their was free samples...and you know how much I love food!
Me: Yes, yes I do.
Julius: It was awesome.

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

Isaiah had a birthday party to go to at one of the neighbor's today. I thought it was at 4p.m., but it started at 3p.m. I was in the car driving home from writer's group, but no biggie his friend lives three houses down from ours. I'm on the cell phone with Isaiah and said, "Just put on a nice outfit, brush your teeth, grab a jacket and DeAnthony will walk you over." I picked him up at 7p.m. Apparently, my definition of "put on a nice outfit" is different from his which consist of a polo shirt, Nike athletics shorts, no socks, sneakers and no jacket! Oy Vey!!!!! When I asked Dejon why he let him leave like that he said, "Yeah, I was wondering about his clothes." This is why I never leave my house!!! Common sense people!