Juliusism Sunday

Julius started asking me about getting a wig. No not for me...for him. Silly me...I thought he was referring to his head, but apparently he needs to catch up with his older brothers and he is looking for some armpit hair! Oy!

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

I'm so glad my kids don't have self-esteem issues. Do they have a down day once in awhile....sure, but for the most part they are secure with themselves. It could be their genetic make-up or being raised by a blunt speaking, Italian/French mother...I don't know.
It got my attention when I heard DeJon in the kitchen and then the conversation ensued.
Devan: What? I'm making my lunch for tomorrow.
Dejon*laughing*: You're not going to use that lunchbox are you?
Devan: What's wrong with The Avengers?
Dejon: Dude, you're in 8th grade. *laughs*
Devan: Mom, do you think people will make fun of me if I bring an Avengers lunchbox to school or should I just go with a good ole' fashion brown paper bag.
Me: Oh, Devan honey...if they wanted to laugh at you they would have done it by now!
Dejon*rolls on floor laughing*
Devan(sighs): Okay...Where's the Buzzlight Year one?
Me: In the cupboard by the sink.
Devan: Thanks.
Michael(17 year old): What? You can't use the Buzzlight Year one...that's the one I use!

Juliusism Sunday!

I like to keep glass jars with lids. You know...pickle jars, relish jars, etc, because you never know when you'll need them for a school project or whatever. In my case, I save them so when the boys ask for a jar to capture one of those outdoor creatures (they capture and release) to study it I have them. It certainly beats them taking my Tupperware outside...which has totally happened.

Yesterday, Julius said, "Mom, do you have a glass jar with a lid?" I said, "Why yes, I do." I figured they wanted to catch lightening bugs outside, as they are a plethora of them along our tree line. However, I asked anyways. That was probably my first mistake. "What are you trying to catch?" Julius responded, "I'm trying to catch my fart to see if I can capture the smell." Two of his brothers burst out laughing, as I said, "Julius that's disgusting." He said, "No, its an experiment. Do you think it'll work?" 

 SMH!

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

 Morphing Mom

Isaiah: I like your eyes when they're kind of brown, Mom.
 
Me: Isaiah, they're not brown...they're a hazel which is bit green and brown together. They only get brighter green if I'm crying.
 
Isaiah: Really?! I wish I had that super power!


Huh? I wasn't aware I had super power outside of plunging a clogged toilet!

Juliusism Sunday!

I was watching Pool Masters with Julius! The host of the show is notorious for skinny dipping in the beginning of the episode...I think he's one of those purist people. They blur out the nekkid parts. Anyways, he's a hoot! This is Julius's first time watching it, so this is how our conversation went.
 
Me: This guy designs and buildings pools that look like ponds, but they're really swimming pools. Julius(wrinkles his nose): Do you smell like frogs when you get out? Me: Frogs smell? Julius *eyes divert back to the television and open wide* Me: Yeah, he likes to skinny dip. Julius: What's skinny dip? Me: He swims in his birthday suit. Julius: *Looks back at the television and eyes open wider*: Well, don't look now...his birthday suit just fell off and he's naked! 

LOL!!! He hasn't grabbed the concept of birthday suit yet!

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

My take on the teenage years:
It's like riding a seesaw with the neighborhood bully. At times you are up on the high end. The view looks amazing and everything seems all clear. Then within a heartbeat...the bully jumps off and you land flat on your arse wondering what the heck just happened!

Juliusism Sunday!

Julius: Do we have ketchup?
Me: Just the organic stuff.
Julius: No way.
Me: Yeah, you guys don't like the taste of it.
Julius: It taste like butt. Not regular butt, but big butt and if you think I'm kidding...I got two words for you. I'm Not!

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

The 17 year old is getting ready for prom. It's his Junior Prom, but the GF's Senior Prom. I told him that its customary to go out to dinner first...at least that's how we used to do it. The boy has never gone to a sit down restaurant alone, nor has he ever paid. That's what parents are for. So last night the questions began.
 

Michael: How does a restaurant work?
Me: You mean like if you run it as a business?
Michael: No, when you go eat at one. Does it cost money to just sit down at the table?
Me: Nooooo....you pay for whatever you order and the tip.
Michael: So like $30?
Me: I'm thinking more.
Michael: Well, how much do pancakes cost?
Me: Please don't tell me your taking poor Brandy to Ihop for prom?!
Michael Noooooo! How about Olive Garden?
Me: You're getting warmer.