Dysfunctional Wednesday!

 Mother's Day 2014

Jenna: Mom, you're a writer...so why don't you ever put something sappy on my Facebook wall. I mean its Mother's Day!
Me: I'm Sorry. I like to keep shit real.
Jenna: It's true...you aren't an emotional person.
Me: I know...it is true.
Jenna: Even Dad(the ex) is more emotional and sappy than you are.
Me: I swear that man has a vagina.

*LMAO* I don't care who you are that shit was funny!
Jenna: Mom!
Me: What? I bought you a Nutribullet! You should have your father write something sappy on your wall!
Jenna: You know he can't spell!
Me: Or tell time!

Bahahahahahaha! I had to stop the conversation, because I could go on all day with that topic!

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

 Prom Night Pep Talk!

My oldest son, Michael went to his first prom this past May. For weeks I worried about how it would all come together. We had disagreements, I had nightmare, but in the end it all came together! Phew! He's only a junior, so I have to do this all over again this coming May!

Michael, though he is very pigheaded at times, has never given us a reason to not trust his judgement. He's been an amazing son! He works really hard at school, does chores without being asked, respectful to adults/teachers, no drugs, no drinking, etc. Those are issues that we have never dealt with Michael and we are proud of his choices thus far. However, he is seventeen years old and the testosterone is flowing through his veins. As a parent I felt the need to have "the talk" again. I mean it's Prom Night...anything can happen, right?

As Michael and I were driving to meet his girlfriend for prom pictures...I gave him the pep talk. I'm not really good at pep talks, because "I says it hows I sees it". 

I started off with..."No sex! I don't allow that." 
 
Michael says, "I knnnnooowww!" 

I replied, "Okay, but it makes me feel better that I at least said it. Cuz, you know sex is like candy...once you get the taste of it you're always going to want more." 

Michael said, "All right, I get it. You don't have to keep talking about it." 

So I continued, "If by some chance you decide you're going to have sex...I'm cursing you right now. Brandy's face will turn into mine, and you'll hear me and Jesus doing a lot of talking!!" Michael rolled his eyes. I said, "I know...this is awkward, but I feel better just knowing I at least warned you. So....if you get the urge just slam that thing in a window and it'll go away. Capiche?" Have a good time!

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

 Hen Pecked!

We were outside feeding and watering the chickens. Isaiah said, "Why is that rooster afraid of everything. He's a big wimp." Before I could answer he said, "Never mind he's living with 11 women...that's probably why!"

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

My daughter, Jenna picked up my four year old granddaughter, Aubrey from pre-school. She decided to bring Miss. Aubrey for an ice cream and then for a walk at the environmental park in Knightdale. It was a bit warm on this day and NC's first bout of humidity of the spring. Aubrey likes to be difficult, so she started complaining

Aubrey: ugh it's gonna be so hot there
 Jenna:(sarcastically) Oh, no Aubrey what are we gonna do?!
Aubrey: (arms crossed) Duh, we gonna sweat, that's what!

Juliusism Sunday!

Julius: You know farting is completely normal. I just can't believe girls are allowed to do it....but its completely normal.

Hahahahahaha! He's always thinking!