Juliusism Sunday

During our first heat wave of the summer of 2014 it was 97 degrees, humid with a heat index well over a hundred. 

Julius woke up on the wrong side of the bed and has been rolling back and forth on the living room floor repeatedly saying, "Mom, I'm so bored."

The older boys went to hang with their friends down the street and Isaiah is still sleeping. To say the least, Julius is bored out of his mind. I made a few suggestions, so he stopped and listened. 

When my list was complete and nothing appealed to him he said, "No, I don't want to do those things. I'm just going to keep doing my Chant of Boredness!" 

LOL! Do your kids do the Chant of Boredness during summer break? 

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

It's a sure sign that you may have waited a little too long to buy some new bras when your nine year old son wakes up in the morning and immediately ask if you got a boob job overnight.

Really?! 

What can I say....I got my Grandma's Boobs!  

Juliusism Sunday!

This past summer was a looooonnnnggggg one! On the first day of vacation the voices came from over the stairs!
Julius: Open up this door and no one will get hurt!!!
Muffled voice: No! Go away!
Julius: I mean it!!! Open up!
Me: What is going on up there?
Julius: Dejon won't open his bedroom door.
Me: Why do you need to go into Dejon's room?
Julius: I have to give him something.
Me: What do you have to give him?
Julius: I have to fart.
 
Good Flipping Grief!!!! Boys!!!

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

Once upon a time there was a little girl with curly, honey-colored hair named Jenna.  She was her mommy’s pride and joy.  The mommy would dress Jenna in frilly clothes, big bows and braid her hair. The mommy loved to drive everywhere with her 2 year old baby girl. They would drive from Dayton into Biddeford to do their errands.  On their trip the mommy would love to listen to the little girl’s thoughts, and her mom would smile at how smart and beautiful she was.  However, while they were sitting at a traffic light…it became very quiet, but before the mommy could look to see if her little girl had fallen asleep she saw the couple in the lane next to them giggling and looking at her car.  That’s when the mommy looked in the rearview mirror and saw her beautiful, honey-colored cherub with a finger shoved halfway up her nose.  The mommy was mortified, because her little baby girl had never done anything like this.  So the mommy panicked to see her little angel doing something so grotesque and freaked out. “Jenna! Don’t pick your nose! That’s….that’s not nice!”  The little girl really didn’t react much to her mother’s concern(that hasn’t changed in 26 years)and  the little girl have her annoyed reply, “Don’t worry Momma….I not gonna eat it!!!”  The mommy was digging(no pun intended) out a baby wipe when she said, “Well, I suppose that’s a good thing and I should be somewhat relieved. Let’s wash your hands, okay…..and maybe not do that ever again.”  Then the little curly-haired toddler said, “Okay, Mommy.” Then the little girl went back to talking about Freddy Kruger, because she’s odd like that!!

Juliusism Sunday!

  

Paul(to Julius:) When did you sneak into our bed last night?
Julius: When you were sleeping, and Mommy was awake, and Isaiah was sleeping. *giggles*
Isaiah: I wasn't sleeping....I just pretended.
Julius: Why, so you could have the room to yourself?
Isaiah(smiles): Yup.
Julius: Well played, Isaiah. Well played.

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

  Miss Aubrey is over for a visit and she's the whiny grandbaby!! She came inside after struggling to open her bottle of bubbles. 

 I said, "Are you whining about bubbles. Girlfriend, you need to pull up your big girl panties and use your words." 

My little blonde lifts up her shirt and takes a peek at the waist of her pants. "They not down!!" Oy Vey!

Juliusism Sunday!

Julius is laying on my bed staring at the ceiling fan. You know the wheels are turning and I can see in his eyes that a question is coming.
 
Julius: Did you guys buy that fan on the ceiling?
Me: It came with the house.
Julius: Oh.
He studies it a bit longer.
Julius: So you bought the house and it came with a ceiling fan?
Me: Yes.
Julius: Well, I think you should have bought a ceiling fan that came with a house. Wouldn't that have been cheaper?
Me(laughing): Yes, Julius it would have been waaaayyyyyy cheaper.

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

Mom: Oh! This looks like its going to be a good show! 


Me: What show?


Mom: Never mind....its a commercial for Golden Corral.


Me: *snort*


Mom: Well, it would have been a good show! There is a good looking black guy in there and a cowboy.....I would have watched it! 

Juliusism Sunday!

 Chicken Master!

We put our baby Sultan chicks outside on their own for the first time today. I'll bring them in later for the night. 

I went outside with Julius to check on them and said, "Julius, look under the coop and see if the chicks are there." 

He bends over and says, "Yup, they are." 

I said, "Do you see three?" 

He says, "Yeah." 

I'm changing their water and said, "Okay, that's a good thing." 

He says, "I'm not a Chicken Master, but I think they don't like the mist." 

 LOL! Chicken Master!