Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

You Need To Check Yourself!
I avoid those "self-checkout" aisles at the grocery store at all cost. Those flipping things are so prone to malfunction it isn't even funny.  However, today there was only one regular lane open and it was packed.  Deciding I didn't want to wait in a long line with two kids, I ventured to the self-check out aisles to speed the process along. I  figured with so few items,  I can't possibly screw this up. You scan things and put them in the bag. Its not rocket science.  
So I begin! First item....scanned. The register says, "Please place the item in the bagging area" over the speaker when I've already done it. It tells me I'll have to wait for an attendant to assist me, but then corrects itself ten seconds later. I said "WTH" to myself.  I scan the next two items and it says it again.  This time I say out loud. "Oh, my aching arse!" I got a few stares.
I scan a few more items, and it did it a third time and let me tell wasn't a flipping charm. I blurted out "I wish I had a 9 iron, because I'm about to go Happy Gilmore on this thing." Okay, I got a few stares, but I was completely serious!
 Please remind me that I don't like the self-check outs and to wait in the huge line no matter what!!!

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Juliusism Sunday!

In the Beginning!

We were sitting around the dinner table last night and Julius randomly asked, "Mom, how many were you on the first day?"  I gave him a perplexed look and said, "The first day of what?"  He thought for a few seconds and replied, "I don't know...just on the first day. How many were you then?" Isaiah piped in and said, "I think he means when the earth was created, Mom." I was just about to correct Isaiah, because that would mean that Julius thinks I'm as old as dirt...and I'm fairly sure I'm not quite that geriatric. Julius said, "Yeah, that's what I mean!"

Stick a shovel in me...I'm done!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

Here Chicky, Chicky!
                In our family’s on going quest to have a healthier lifestyle, my husband and I have a plan to “Go Off the Grid” in the next five years.
                The first phase is planting a garden, learning how to can, and the possibility of starting a small orchard of apple, peach and pear trees. Along with that we are looking at building a small greenhouse, so we can have a few fresh veggies during the colder months, as well.
                Phase two was getting a few chickens…as in four or five. That is where we are at now. I consulted with a friend who raises chickens to find the best layers, and there are some breeds that can be “sexed” and some that can’t. Being “sexed” for those of you who are not familiar with chickens, it's the ability to tell if a chick will be a hen or a rooster. Roosters can’t lay eggs and we have no desire to breed them. She mentioned that Leghorns are great layers, but can’t be “sexed”, however Golden Comets lay great and can be “sexed”. I’m a huge fan of Foghorn Leghorn, so I decided that I’d take a gamble and chose the Leghorns.

At the end of February of this year our journey into raising free ranged chickens began. Our four leghorn chicks arrived and there is no need to deny it…they are cute!
            A week didn’t go by when I decided that four chickens may not be enough for a family of eight people. So I gave my friend a call and told her to look around for some Golden Comet chicks. A week later in came our newest chicks. They were even tinier and cuter than the last set. We named these ones Sophia, Blanche, Dorothy and Rosie. That may have been a big mistake, because I was starting to bond with my new feathered babies.  It was also around this time that we discovered one of our leghorn hens was actually a rooster. Oops! Hey, one out of four…that was a pretty good gamble if you ask me. So now I have a Leghorn named Foghorn. My dreams were coming true.
            My husband was content with our growing brood. I, on the other hand, was not. Google is a very dangerous place and it wasn’t long before I realized there were some pretty amazing breeds of chickens. The chicken bug had bitten and I knew that eight chickens would never be enough. Getting more, however would be tricky, as my hubby was not on board with my newfound obsession. I needed reinforcements, so I recruited my oldest daughter, Jenna. She hit up the local Tractor Supply and in mid-March she smuggled in two Giant Cochin chicks and two Black Star chicks.  The Giant Cochins were a must have. They have these beautiful feathered legs and remind me of Cancan girls. However, it took less than twenty four hours for my deceitfulness to be discovered. My husband is a mathematics major…he knows how to count to eight and he was coming up with twelve when he looked in the nursery.  Busted!
        I promised the hubby that this was it, and I truly meant it at the time. Then I went on Google. Did you know they have chickens with Mohawks? Barbanters not only have beautiful markings, but they are great layers during the frigid temperatures of winter. Okay, so I live North Carolina and the colder temps aren’t going to be a huge issue…but these guys are going to have Mohawks when they’re full grown! Do you understand how cool that is going to be? I needed my chicken fix. I called my friend, who by this time I’m referring to as my dealer.  It took a while, but my dealer found Barbanter chicks. I only bought two, but she threw in an extra Barbanter and two Cochin Bantam/Sultan cross chicks for good measure. By this time, I’ve set my nursery up in the garage. This time when the hubby came home and checked on the babies he counted seventeen. I think the roof actually lifted off the house.
        It wasn’t a week later my addiction went into high gear when I discovered Sultans. OMGee! These chickens have 80’s hair. I mean Big Ole’ Mall hair! I was in love and I needed one…or two. I made an inconspicuous call to my dealer and ten days later she located this rare breed. Last Saturday I hit an all-time low when I made a “quick chick” purchase in the parking lot of the local Harris Teeter.  I slid my dealer $15 dollars across the hood of the Cluck Truck and she gave me a box of three Sultan chicks. My excuse to my husband for opting with three instead of the two that we had agreed on…I’m OCD and I needed an even number. So here we are the end of April, we have twenty chickens and I’m in absolute heaven. I can’t get enough of my girls…and Foghorn!
          If you’re looking for me…I’ll be sitting in the backyard talking to my hens and conjuring up a new idea for a middle grade book about….You guessed it, Chickens!    

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Juliusism Sunday!

I love to wake up to a Juliusism...and before my coffee!

Julius(to his brother): Yes, you can bond over farting...if you do it at the same time.

Juliusism's...they just make sense!

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

    Living Simply With Boys! 

     Paul came home from work and he brought Julius and Isaiah a bag of balloons...maybe about 20 in the package. You would have thought it was Christmas morning. I sat back with a gentle smile on my face and let the simplicity soak in. Actually, I was proud that my boys don't need hundreds of dollars worth of toys or technology to make them happy. Even a couple of the older boys joined in the fun. Living simply has always been my focus when it comes to raising my kids. They certainly have a few gadgets, but nothing in excess. 

      While Paul and I made tonight's dinner I could hear jumping and the musical sound of their laughter carry down over the stairs. I looked at Paul and said, "Do you know how good it makes me feel to know that they aren't caught up with what the "Jone's" have?" He nodded his head and agreed. After dinner he went up to shave and I stayed downstairs. 

       Ten minutes later a very disgruntled Paul came down and said, "I'm not happy." 

        I said, "Oh, my gosh! Don't tell me someone called out and you have to go to work." 
       He gave a snide, "Nope."

        I said, "Well...why are you so irritated?" 

        He said, "One of the boys...I don't know which one or ones, made water balloons and proceeded to have a fight on our bed. It's soaked!" 

Let the finger pointing begin! Oy Vey! Boys!!!!!!!!

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Juliusism Sunday!

Julius came upstairs with a Gatorade and there was instant bickering between him and Isaiah.

Isaiah: Tell Julius to share that Gatorade with me.
Paul: Julius where did you get the Gatorade?
Julius: In the refrigerator.
Paul: I didn't buy any must be Michael's that he bought.
Julius(runs frankly around trying to hide the Gatorade): Help me! Help me! Michael is going to kill me.
Me: Michael isn't going to kill you. Stop saying that. He may get really mad, because you took his drink, but he isn't going to hurt you.
Julius(thinks for a second): Help me! Help me! Before Michael sees this.
Me: In the first place, you shouldn't have drank it without asking who it belonged to right?
Julius: I didn't know it belonged to him. I saw it and thought I just got lucky.

Well, it took Michael about an hour before he realized what happened. Julius came back into my bedroom none worse for the wear...I guess big brother has a soft spot for baby brother! 

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Dysfunctional Wednesday!

One way to tell if a child's mother is a book nerd. Thirteen year old is cutting brush and shrubs on this beautiful NC day and looks at his 14 year old brother and says, "For Narnia!" As he thrust the branch in the air. Yes, all the neighbors are outside!

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Juliusism Sunday

Julius is relaxing in my bed, but he kept wiggling all around. His hands were under the blankets and he's feeling around like he's looking for something. 

It continued for another minute or so and then I said, "Julius, what are you doing?" 

He still moving his hands under the blankets and says, "Well, I'm pretty sure I put on my boxers after my shower, but I can't seem to find them. Wait! Never mind I found them!" 

WTHeck!? Crisis diverted...though I'm still trying to figure out where the boxers went for a few minutes, especially since he still had them on!